We all are born with some kind of dreams to do something. We all get these ideas to be something or to achieve something or even to own or buy something. Our dreams, perhaps, float in our minds in our teenage years. Some of our dreams die and some of our dreams live, and some transform to different dreams. We gain experience and learn many things to do or not to do. Our knowledge in life continues correcting our thoughts, opinions, and actions. With each difficult experience, we grow so much that we hope not to repeat the same experience. Somehow and some of us need a lot of lessons to learn something, and some don’t need any lessons to learn. How many bad experiences do we need to go through to learn something valuable? I have thought about this question since I was in college. I asked myself all the time: can I avoid bad experiences? I was naive. It is impossible to avoid bad experiences. They come to our doorstep without us asking for them, especially when we are challenging ourselves and pushing the envelope. As long as we are living, we will go through bad experiences and good experiences. However, increasing our good experiences vs bad experiences allows us to enjoy life more . Let me give you a mathematical equation of a good life:
Good life = [Good experience – bad experience ] x number of years
If your number is negative, you need to change your belief system! How many times I have heard about someone who has had so many bad experiences- It cannot be bad luck – it just cannot be! I wonder if this is a coincidence or if the problems are attracted to us. There is a name for that, by the way, I call it the “misfortune syndrome.” We all get this syndrome once or twice or several times during our life. But some people suffer constantly from this syndrome. An average person suffers from this syndrome, usually, during the twenties. It decreases in our thirties and older although I don’t have any statistical data to support this!
The more we have bad experiences, the harder we need to work to neutralize them– avoiding a negative number! The second question: how can we increase our good experiences to avoid a negative number? These are the three major pillars of a good life:
The wonder of travel
Travel increases our good experiences. It allows us to meet new people, to discover new cultures and places, to charge our life battery, and to enrich our life. In a book written by Dr. Karl Pillemer 30 Lessons for Living, he concluded that the number one regret which retired people have is not travelling earlier and as frequently as possible. Many feel bad that they did not travel enough. Whether we travel with a plan or without a plan, we enjoy our trip more if we bond with local people. Talking to residents allows us to discover new things. It increases our curiosity to know more, leading us to compare our belief system with others without judging them. We can generate many creative ideas during our travel. Somehow our brain has the ability to rewire itself with new neurocircuits increasing our creative serendipity.
“There is nothing equal to a vacation and good book to read,” my wife says. Reading waters our soul with pure fun and knowledge whether you are reading fiction or nonfiction. Reading generates good feelings and great enjoyment. During my college years, I read a lot to allow my thoughts to travel and to leave my stress-filled dorm room. I couldn’t wait until I finished the finals to read. It relaxed my mind and body after a stressful period of exams.
Sitting with love ones (family and friends) to talk!
Sometimes, I crave to see friends so much that I am willing to travel for hours to meet them and have lunch or dinner. I love to sit and talk and talk and talk …! I love to listen to my friends. Their stories keep me alive. They keep me grounded to life, and I feel very good. I like friends who usually make fun of life. My friends make me laugh, and it does not matter how old we are- we laugh at the same jokes as if we had just heard them! The sense of humor of our conversation makes the day. I have some friends who never call me, but I call them or text them all the time. My wife is always amazed about that. I just like to keep in touch, I say to her! She walks shaking her head!
The goal is to keep your life in a positive number as much as possible!